I think I just blew up my application for a Masters Degree in Media Studies (Film). I totally performed horrendously in the essay writing, more so during the interview process.
The essay writing started at 9am sharp. I entered the room still "wasted" since we packed up from shooting past midnight already. It didn't help that I'm not really what you call a morning person. Looking at my co-applicants, I began feeling left-out. From their appearance alone, you know these people are of the "artistic" kind. I know Melanie Marquez said not to judge a person because he is not a book but I couldn't help thinking that I look so freakin' normal!!! I don't look like a filmmaker wannabe!!! It didn't help that I saw Ramon Bautista among the applicants. Man, he is the god of UNTV! Am I worthy to be sitting beside him? And do I not sound shallow already?
Then the essay writing questions came out. "What research topic are you interested in?" "How do you plan to attain the answers to your query?" "Elaborate on your study plan." (Yadda yadda yadda!) Whoa! I kept thinking, isn't it enough that I just wanted to study again? Do I really have to answer all those stuff, like, that very moment?
I may sound like a whiner here and yes I'm one, but what if I'm still in the process of finding the answers myself? What if, maybe, that's the reason why I want to take up a masters degree? To know what I really like, er, want!
In the end, I chose to answer the political economy of local mainstream moviemaking today and its effects on the aesthetics of the produced film as a potential research topic. I like to believe the topic's "astig" but I am also fully aware that I wasn't able to elaborate on it well. This came obvious during the interview process when panelist Joel David (another god!) kept on correcting my stammering thoughts.
The results will be known on Friday at the earliest. Let's see if it will turn out to be a freaky one.