June 28, 2004

June 27, 2004

Dark Circle

This was me. Last Friday. Taken by Pink from her camera phone. (I wonder when I can afford to buy those small gadgets.) No, don't mind the pango nose. Notice instead the dark circles around my eyes. Scary shit!

I was talking to Rose here. We were debating as to who's the more depressed. The more depressed, the more hip.


June 25, 2004

Tired and Tardy

Rose says she’s tired. Well so am I. I badly need a break.


I have insomnia. I sleep at 5 in the morning and wake up at 3 in the afternoon. Bad, bad, bad! I feel guilty to my friend Sanda (yes, without an R) who has been constantly texting me to mail back her book which I borrowed late last year pa. Obviously, I couldn’t find time to go to the post office with my nasty sleeping habit.


Had no work today (or yesterday since it’s already early morning). It should have been the perfect time to do unattended personal chores (laundry for example) or write my Film 201 report. Instead, I chose to just lie around and view the shows I recorded on my VCR (2 eppys of The O.C. and Six Feet Under) and to catch the last screening of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban after. (Finally, a Potter movie I enjoyed!). Boo me!


As much as I hate to admit it, I think I need a lovelife. I’m starting to think that an existent lovelife is the perfect antidote to my depression. Or maybe I just need a shrink. Or again, maybe just a break.

June 24, 2004


Tension in the air. Our soap’s going to be delayed one week, yet again. Week One script is more or less approved but production couldn’t catch up with the airing date. Add the fact that it’s still a mystery how the other network got hold of our early draft script. If the tabloid article was right, the other channel is going to reformat their youth show and give it the same title as ours. I don’t know if this is a laughing matter but it certainly is laughable! :) Does that make sense?


Sent an email again to Ms. M reiterating my desire to resign after Mr. Head Writer comes back from his US vacation. They’re going to meet later to discuss creative team matters (Ms. M, Mr. Head Writer, Mr. Creative Manager, and some big bosses maybe) so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that my exit will be smooth. Argh! :)


I’m having a hard time at school. I only have 1 subject but it’s so demanding. And Dr. Joel David is such a genius I find it intimidating to give silly answers during class recitation. And my classmates are sooooo serious. And I haven’t read a single paragraph in the 5 chapters of readings assigned so far. I enjoy the regular film showings though. :) This makes me realize again that I may really just love the movies, pop culture and what have you, but I may need NOT necessarily work for the industry. Somebody help me find out my true calling please!


Why do I get this feeling that Mr. Head Writer calls us for meetings not to discuss the script or story, but to make us his support system whenever he feels angsty about “the system”? I should begin asking for a shrink fee.

June 21, 2004

Sunday, Lonely Sunday

I finally told our headwriter about my decision not to stay long with the soap. I think he understands. Well, at least I hope so. I already gave them an ultimatum. I'll stay with the soap until he comes back from his US vacation. He'll be gone August to September, which means, I will only resign by then. Ang bait ko noh?! :) But of course, nothing's temporary really. For all we know, the show is not going to rate very high and the management will decide to cut the soap short. Am I very bad if I hope for this to happen?


I attended a binyag this morning. I'm already a ninong! :) Her name is Mirjana Kamilah and she's the daughter of Darling, the older sister of my childhood friend Honey. Yep, those are really their nicks! :) It was cool. I don't know but I really find traditions such as this cheezy in a good way. I found myself smiling all throughout the ceremonies. And then I realized I'm not getting any younger. And my smile vanished.


Went home and slept after the binyag. I got depressed.


Caught the final screening of Dawn Of the Dead in SM North after. In terms of quality and aesthetics, the other recent zombie movie 28 Days Later is far better because its premise is more realistic and resonant with the times, its direction more innovative and its characters more intelligent (although I hate that "man becoming zombies" symbolism in the latter part of the film). This is not to say that I didn't enjoy Dawn of the Dead. If you feel like watching a zombie movie that's sheer scream out loud fun, then go see this one. I also like the subtle "fuck commercialism" message.


The taxi I rode on the the way to SM North played some Guns And Roses album. Got teary-eyed dammit! I'm ashamed to admit it but early 90's long hair band music actually hits my sensitive nerve. It just reminds me of my early days of freedom (circa 1992) when I left home to study HS in another island. I was 12 then. And at 24 now, I'm feeling very old.

June 19, 2004

Utmost Priorities

Finally, I told Ms. M (one of the big bosses) that I'm not going to stay long with the show, er, soap. I just hope she'll do something about it, like finding a replacement writer ASAP, and not force me to stay. Of course, I won't be able to resign right away while there's no new writer yet or even if there's already one, I still have to wait for her/him to adjust to the soap's tone and feel in writing, but at least, Ms. M already knows. That's a good step, enough.

Believe me, I do enjoy writing (if I love the material) and I love the material of this new show. Kaya naman kung kaya eh! It's just that I cannot commit one year of my life writing for a daily soap. I did that in Pangako Sa 'Yo and I didn't like it a bit. Yes, the company was good and I established strong bonds with the writers and directors but see, I'm in a stage right now where I don't want to limit my world. I'm young and as the cliché goes, I wanna experience life and seize the day. I don't want one year of my life to pass by with me solely working and sleeping (no stir, coz this was my daily routine back in Pangako Sa ‘Yo days). This maybe has something to do with the fact that I was a geek (in its true sense) since I was born (okay, or since I entered school) and now that there's no pressure for me to finish a degree, I believe it's but right to have a good time for a change. Of course, if the soap was still a weekly youth show, I would have stayed (I was hoping to write a show ala The O.C.); although the issue for me then was that if the show will be a hit, it'll run forever, unlike other shows that have clear duration of their TV run. I just have to set my priorities straight. I know I still wanna write but only for weekly or episodic TV, and movie maybe. Of more importance, I still wanna pursue production work. And I still wanna pursue my Masters degree. And I wanna have lots of free time.

Okay, I gotta finish writing the Day 5 script of Week 1 so I have to stop now. There's a great pressure for us to air on time coz the bosses just found out that the other network got hold of our Week 1 initial draft script (as to how, a very big mystery). Here's to hoping that everything will turn out alright.

June 17, 2004

5 Days

And now they're telling us it's a 5-day soap format again. Decisions, indecisions... Fuck! We're no robots.

Anyway, I might not be able to update this blog as often as before. The past week or so, my free time is spent sleeping. As I'm writing this, I still have to beat an early morning deadline tomorrow and I'm not yet halfway through. And I think they're already showing the show's teaser earlier. Pressure! Argh!

I gotta find a way to exit. Not that I'm giving up but because this is not what I want.

June 13, 2004

Never Be The Same Again

I am still shocked to even think about what I will do next. I am honestly helpless. I don’t know what to do. There was an emergency meeting last Friday and the network bigwigs informed us that the youth show is now going to be a 6-day soap opera. And we still have to premiere 2 weeks from now. Needless to say, I’m shocked. It’s so fucking’ unfair! Foremost, I said yes to a youth show, not to a soap opera! Don’t get me wrong. I have high respect for soap opera writers (being a former one myself) but I don’t respect the genre. Argh! I still want a social life. I still want to do production work. I cannot commit one year of my fuckin’ life to a fuckin’ soap opera! What makes me mad is that the more I look at it, the more I see that it’s purely a materialistic corporate move because I don’t think it is a good move, career wise, for the young actors the show’s supposed to launch. You might say, why don’t I resign? Yes I can but it’s not that easy because “politics” is involved here. It’s both a lose-lose situation for me if I resign. I will appear (and feel) inconsiderate coz’ I’m the only writer (aside from the head writer) and this is a period wherein the team should work together to be able to meet the launching date. More importantly, resigning would also mean killing my TV career. In this cutthroat world of showbiz, I am pretty sure that the “people up there” will see to it that I made a very big mistake if I quit. I don’t know what to do. I don’t like what’s happening with my life. :(

June 07, 2004

Back to School

I'm going back to school today. Film 201 class under "the" Doctor Joel David. I'm scared. I didn't expect to be taking up a major subject already. When I had myself enlisted last week, I was sure I would take up Film 112 since that's the remaining prereq subject I have to take for not being a Film major in my undergrad. I was obviously surprised when Prof. Armi (adviser) told me that I need NOT take Film 112 and can proceed already with the subjects ending in 200+. I was taken aback coz I wasn't prepared, didn't even study the course curriculum. I looked at the five subjects for MA students of freshman standing. There's Media Studies 20something with my undergrad thesis adviser as professor but I was thinking I might not be ready to take that subject yet coz I still don't know my regular work sked and having her, as a teacher really requires full concentration on her class. It also helps that I read in Miaka's blog what happened to Luthien who was her student last sem and who felt the grade she gave was unfair. It got me scared. I'd like to think I left a good impression on her and I don't wanna destroy that by coming to her class unprepared. So I had no choice but just to take Film 201. I don't know what the subject is about. Film seminar something. I know what you're thinking. Is this the mind of an MA student? :)

June 06, 2004


Like you, I'm also tired of my "laughing at My First Romance to avoid people thinking that I'm too serious with my screenplay but in truth I'm really proud of that screenplay" act but this just got in. I got a text from Tim, our DOP in All My Life. He's making the primer for this year's annual Film Academy of the Philippines Awards and he told me that our screenplay for My First Romance is included in the shortlist of 10 screenplays up for nominations. They will narrow down the field next week and of course (this is honest speak), I'm not expecting that it will be included in the final 5. BUT still, to be part of the "for your consideration" scripts (considering Tessa and I are not even members of the Writers Guild that's why I doubted Tim's text at first), while funny, is something to be proud of. I guess. :)

Jologs For Life

I just reaffirmed my “Jologs” reputation. I watched the live grand finals (or as they say it, Grand Questor’s Night) of Star Circle Quest in Araneta Coliseum yesterday. I got free tickets from “insiders” the day prior and since I had nothing to do yesterday, I decided to watch. Well, okay, I’m really a regular viewer of the show. It is a guilty pleasure. In fact, I wanted to work for the show as segment producer or something. I so envy my friend Mico for being one of its writers. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because it’s also ala-American Idol (another guilty pleasure) or because Reality TV is really, what I’m craving for right now. In artsy-fartsy talk, I’m in a stage wherein I prefer the documentary genre to contrived scripted fiction. I sound very defensive I hate me! :)

Actually, before SCQ, I was also a regular viewer of Starstruck although I got hooked with that show when they were already in their Final 6. Comparing the two, I think the Starstruck Teens are really lucky because they have a director (Lino Cayetano) who fully understood what the genre is all about. In all fairness, they are also better looking (for me) than their SCQT counterparts. If we talk about longevity though, I think the finalists of Star Circle Quest will stay longer in the business because (aside from the ABS-CBN machinery), I really believe they’re smarter and more talented. (And I’m not solely talking about singing and dancing here.) I just hated it when the shows became at a time, too serious. It’s supposed to be about the “cheese”! That’s the reason why people (or at least, I) watch. The cheese! :)

On a personal tidbit, when Direk Lauren told us that he was asked to be one of the judges of SCQ Teens, I excitedly told him “Be Simon Cowell!” In the first few weeks, he tried to be one but I guess he just can’t fake it. He eventually became the nice and sensible judge (and that's really who he is on and off camera). It helped though, coz I think his popularity as one of the jurors is partly the reason why All My Life did great in the box-office. In fact, when we were shooting in Star Cruise Virgo, many Pinoys came up to him asking for his picture. To think Star Circle Quest just started airing one week before! :)

Back to yesterday’s live show, of course, I texted friends and ask for their company. To my dismay, no one’s as excited as I am. I ended up “forcing” my kababayan/childhood friend Honey to come with me. (Thank you, Hon!) Even with Honey around, I still got 5 extra tickets and since I know the others whom I haven’t texted are not the type to watch this kind of show anyway, I just sold the tickets to diehard fans desperately wanting to enter Araneta. Hahahaha! :) I know I’ll burn in hell! :) I sold the ticket for P100 each but I’d like to think that was a bargain enough. The tickets were for lower box seats and I’m sure other scalpers sold tickets of the same kind at a much higher price. Okay, I’m defensive again! LOL! :D

The show was fun. Save for some ABS-CBN security guards and show staff members who were rudely standing near the stage and blocking our view in the process (we’re in the patron seats), I had fun. Sandara and Hero’s charismas, I cannot explain! Wow is all I can say. You can feel fanaticism reverberate in the big dome and it was contagious. And this is embarrassing to admit but I felt a lump on my throat when the Final 5 were saying their final words. Heh! :)

Honey and I ended the night by eating in Dencios, spending all my scalper’s earning. :)

Ah! I was surprised to see some old college block mates among the audience. Roy, Sheila A, Val, and Thea were there, Miaka! LOL! :) I totally didn’t expect that! :) They were sorta the snob elites back in college. :)

June 03, 2004

Behind Camera

Michiko texted me earlier asking my opinion if it’s okay that the picture she’ll give to Urian is her Friendster profile picture. (She’s nominated again for Magnifico.) I said yes, of course. I’m proud of that pic! I took that pic! :) In fact, I just realized that some of my friends use the pics I took of them (care of my old reliable Kodak DX digicam) for Friendster. I don’t have any formal lessons in photography (just some harsh tips from Yam and Emman) but the fact that the pics came out good for them to place them on Friendster makes me happy.

The pic’s not that clear anymore but this was taken in Kitchen, Greenbelt. The resto lighting was very In The Mood for Love, Emman couldn't fight the urge to have this pic taken.

I already posted this pic here before but I’m just so proud of this I have to post it again. This was taken in the fountain area in Greenbelt, would you believe our guts? Properly documented here.

Longing for someone effect. Starbucks, Rockwell. :)

This was taken in the office. People were just feeling picture-happy then.

Same day in the office. Pang-Friendster pic.:)

In that seafood resto in Roxas when the soap team had a reunion dinner of sorts. Place had good lighting also.

Set break during the infamous April Boy Regino shoot.

This one’s not yet on Friendster but I also like this one. Lonely in the city effect. :) Rockwell, Holy Week.

All pics are taken without camera flash, by the way. And I hope my friends are not going to kill me for this. :)

June 02, 2004

Artsy Fartsy

There’s a French Film Festival going on in Greenbelt 3. Some interesting titles in there, most notable of which is, Balzac and The Little Chinese Seamstress (a Best Foreign Language Film nominee in the Golden Globes). What’s more interesting is that two of the Philippines' internationally-acclaimed films last year are going to be shown again. Straight from Cannes, there’s Mario O’ Hara’s Babae Sa Breakwater. And straight from Clermont, there’s my friend Yam’s Binyag. I really hope I’ll find time to watch considering we’re busy launching the show. Nevertheless, I encourage you guys to watch. Just be more discerning. I mean, it doesn’t mean that just because they’re foreign-language films, they’re good films. :)