Temporary Madness

I am so stressed out right now. The pressure of having to finish the shoot on schedule is killing me. The on set tension is making me crazy. I’m always anticipating that disaster might happen any time. You can’t fault me. The sucky movie posters are already out, for chrissake! I’m paranoid now. Paranoid more because these past 2 days have been quite lightweight (impromptu videoke gimmick after shoot yesterday, enjoying “School of Rock” with Emman today, and just receiving a text message with a job offer), and I believe the “circle of life” theory. You know, when you’re up today, you’ll be down tomorrow. When you’re laughing out loud now, you’ll cry later. Argh! This is crazy. Lord, help me!

Happy and Sad

How I wish I could share with you all the depressing things that have been happening on the set. I actually could but I chose not to. It's very difficult to explain why but I guess I believe that the secrets of the trade just have to remain secret. I don't know if that makes sense. In any case, I pray that the good Lord give me strength to continue with the remaining shoot days. We're supposed to be on our last stretch but boy, what a stretch it is.

On a happy note (most especially to Filipino cineastes), I got a text from Michiko that Babae Sa Breakwater has been invited to the Director's Fortnight in Cannes this year. This is really something to be proud of. The last time something like this happened was still during the days of Brocka. I've been very vocal here about my love for this underrated movie that's why I'm very glad it has finally gotten the recognition it deserves. :)

Random Thoughts

“Hakuna Matata!” That’s what a veteran actress said when her movie shoot was packed-up due to the lack of professionalism of her young starlet co-star. I think she’s right. I need to stop worrying too much about work. As our gay make-up artist Edna puts it, “Wag ma-stress! Nakaka-cancer!” :)

My friend and Brussels film fest winner Yam asked me to be her AD in her music video shoot for Slapshock. Of course, I said yes. Believe me, from April Boy to Slapshock is such a great achievement already. Unfortunately, I might not be able to accept the “raket” after all. We still have to wrap up shooting for this mainstream movie I’m working on.

My high school friends invited me to Boracay. Said I’ll only need 10 thousand pesos for the trip. ONLY?! I don’t have that much money. After the movie is done, I still don’t know what my next job will be. 10 “kiyaw” is just my roundtrip plane fare Manila-hometown. And I wanna enroll in June. Life’s unfair! Life’s a beach, er, bitch! (Corny forgive me, but I just wanna include the pun! :))

What else, Happy Easter! :)

With nothing much to do during the break (I obviously wasn't able to go to the beach), I scanned ALL the files in my old floppy disks. Was laughing my heart out when I saw old pics taken during an impromptu gimmick to Enchanted Kingdom with my high school classmates May of 2001. I remember we had so much fun then. We were like kids. We rode all the rides from the wholesome carousel to the scary Ferris wheel (much scarier than Space Shuttle, in my opinion.) I wonder when I can go out with my friends for an out-of-town gimmick again. *sigh!* Anyway, I'm posting some of the pics. Enjoy and Happy Easter! :)



On the way to EK! That's the bus conductor's behind I was trying to grab. :D



Predictably, there ought to be a group pic at the entrance. :)



Rio Grande Rapids! That's my back shot. :)



Is it called Water Log? I forgot. :D



Wee! I SO happy!!! :D



And they SO happy too!!! :D

Lonely Day

Today was rather a slow day. I woke up noontime already and since I was too tired to take a bath so I could go out and eat lunch (I don't cook), I just wasted precious money (ever) by ordering in a fast-food delivery service. After my late lunch, I viewed the shows recorded on my VCR. I was finally able to see last Tuesday's American Idol 3 eppy and while I knew the results in advance, I still felt sad to see Leah La Belle go. I like her. I think the main problem with this season’s Top 12 is that the contestants with really unique voices (Leah, Camille, Jon Peter and John Stevens) are very "amateur" performers. They need to work on their nerves and stage performances. Of course there are excellent performers and singers (like La Toya, Diana, and Jasmine) but I don't see anything special in the sound of their voices. What I mean is the music market is saturated already with artists who sound like them. (Amy and Matt are just great personalities, no more, no less.) That's why my GUT is telling me now that the next American Idol might be George Huff or Fantasia Barino (both giving good performances and having unique sounding voices).

After my viewing marathon, I dozed off to sleep and woke up surprised upon realizing it was 6pm. (Surprised more when I saw that it's raining!) I then went to the nearby mall to catch the last screening of The Passion of The Christ. I know much has been said about the movie but let me just say my piece. I agree with what everyone's saying. :) It's a very powerful film. It's impossible to critique it objectively because the film itself is very subjective. Watching the film actually reminded me of childhood coz I knew the story of Jesus’ last few hours on earth by heart then. And it just amazes me that I still remember it now (me being jaded and cynical in adulthood). While watching, I kept thinking in advance what will happen next and I got them right. I need not be preachy here and tell you the movie’s message. I’m sure we all get it. I like to think so coz I did.

Anyway, my blog’s taking a break until Easter. I say enough of my narcissisms for the meantime. And I also say may we all have a meaningful Holy Week. :)

Being Holy

We just wrapped up our last day of shoot before we take the Holy Week break. The scenes we shot were relatively easy but there were hitches earlier. Our lead actor has 2 pimples on his face so our EP decided to pack up the big party scene originally scheduled for the day. (That’s how doctors like Vicky Belo are important to showbiz). As the AD, I had to find substitute sequences right away so the shoot would push through. The downer part is, even if shooting did push through, our EP still decided to hold our paychecks. We are penniless this Holy Week. This is not the reason, of course, why I decided not to go on with my beach plans. I mean, I can always play “backpacker” (like what our Script Con Grace does when she feels like going to Galera). Rose, my perennially depressed friend, also invited me to Galera (though I doubt her free schedule considering she’s a soap opera writer. Been there, done that!) The reason why I’m holding off my plans is because I feel guilty. Yes, my Catholic upbringing still prevailed over my secular wants. So tomorrow, I will start my Holy Week by watching The Passion of The Christ. Thursday and Friday, I’ll probably just stay home, read the Bible and hear mass in UP’s Parish of Holy Sacrifice. Saturday, I might visit my high school friends in their new house or my other high school friend in his condo (depending on who sends the invite first or if I have the zest to go out for that matter). Sunday, mass again. Monday, back to work. There’s no irony when I wrote these, by the way.

Ay, teka! Our shooting will still resume Wednesday after Holy Week. I still have Sunday and Monday for Galera. Argh! I just can’t resist it! Stop the devil, stop!

Not a beach!

I just saw 50 First Dates (Drew and Adam’s chemistry made me forget the improbable plot) and I so wanna go to the beach now. Can I just say that again? I wanna go to the beach!!! I miss the beach. This is actually the first time since college that I’m not going home for holy week. I would have loved to but I wanna save money considering I have to be back right after for shooting. I decided I’ll just go home when shooting ends so I’ll have a long vacation (which is probably going to be longer if there’ll be no immediate job offers. Yes! The pros and cons of being a freelancer everything!) Going back to the beach thingy, that’s probably where I’m going to be on holy week. It’s certainly an alien concept to me having been brought up to just stay at home and participate in religious stuff during the lent season, and I’m obviously feeling guilty. I, myself, cannot understand why other people see holy week as some sort of a vacation when it should be some time for reflection. Okay, I’m torn now. I just played devil’s advocate (irony?) to my wanting-to-go-to-the-beach-this-holy-week plans. Is it possible to be on vacation while reflecting on Jesus’ sacrifice for us? Am I going straight to hell? Or am I just making a big deal out of everything?

Hard Sell

The thing about working in movie production is that you get to know a lot of insider gossip or even get a glimpse of the star’s personal lives without even realizing that what you found out are big deals to the gossip hungry nation. You also realize that the stars are as real as you and me. Their concerns may just be petty or materialistic for us working class people but they’re still humans. They also commit “booboos”. I could actually talk on and on about trivial and gossip tidbits I know about these stars but I guess, working for the industry also made me jaded. I’m no longer hungry for gossip as I used to be. I don’t know. It just seems to me that the stars’ personal lives are no longer worth my precious time. Maybe it’s because in knowing them beyond their facades, they’re no longer enigmas. Or worse, their real personas actually disappoint.

There were definitely many interesting things that happened behind the scenes of the movie I’m working on right now. They’re all insignificant to, say, the country’s economic problems really, but that’s not the only reason why I’d rather be mum about them. What comes to mind is what happened to a friend who wrote in her blog the juicy tidbits on the set, then finding out later that the stars and staff actually got to read her writings. :) Our stars and my “in” director (now, that’s a clue!) are also famous nowadays so mahirap na. Besides, once the movie’s near its playdate, I’m surely going to promote it on this blog, and you’ll eventually find out. (The secrecy in my “2 Parts” entry is useless then, though those entries were already self-censored anyway. Heh!:) )

Speaking of promotion, the Promo crew decided to ambush interview me for Cinema One’s Take 1 during our shoot last Wednesday. Now, I’m a media-whore but this interview is something I badly want to be edited out. For one, I was unprepared. My vain self tells me that I looked harassed (can be euphemism for ugly) with my dark skin (made darker by the location shoots) and black shirt with faded print. More embarrassingly, I appeared to be selling the movie too hard. I don’t know, I may have gotten too excited or gullible enough to utter what Promo wanted me to say, I ended up mouthing superlatives to the point where (I think) I came out insincere or fake. I need not mention I said countless wrong grammar, do I? Since Promo interviewed me because they thought we’ll have an earlier playdate and they couldn’t ask our shy EP and scriptwriter to talk about the movie, I have a strong feeling (with fingers crossed) my interview will be taken out in the final cut. And I will feel relieved.

Something tells me this entry is just so “off”.