July 11, 2004
I Want to Break Free
I want to resign ASAP! Help! I can’t take it any longer! It’s really difficult when you’re forced to do what you don’t love doing. I mean, I’m proud with what we’ve accomplished so far (the management looooved the pilot eppy) but writing for a daily soap isn’t what I want. I know I sound redundant already. Last week, the EPs assigned me to assist in the editing and it just made me realize that production work is really what I love doing. I enjoyed it so much that when our headwriter asked me to come back to group writing, I felt a strong urge to resist. Argh! Why is life so complicated? One of the top bosses also met with me privately last week asking me why I’m resigning. I told her my reasons but of course I know that asking part was just “showbiz”. I am fully aware (as what had happened with the other writers) that the real reason why she’s meeting me is to tell me that I’m not allowed to resign. Apparently, the info she got was wrong since she thought that I would be resigning right away. I told her I’m going to resign when our headwriter comes back from the US and I guess she was appeased with the info… for the meantime. But see, if I have my way, I really want to resign ASAP. I’m not happy with the way things are going anymore. In fairness, I see the effort of our headwriter and I’m beginning to enjoy the company of my co-writers but it’s the system that I don’t like. We’re working in such a snail pace and there’s too much spoon-feeding involved. There’s also not too much creative freedom because our headwriter has the tendency to dominate discussions, albeit unintentionally. Or maybe we’re just intimidated. Of course this is just the smaller picture coz this is not the main reason rin naman why I want to resign. I can’t wait for October. God, I wanna be free!